I found the following advice in Daniel Dennett’s book Intuition Pumps and Other Tools for Thinking very effective:
How to compose a successful critical commentary:
- You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.
- You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
- You should mention anything you have learned from your target.
- Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.
The goal is to get yourself and the other party into a frame of mind where each is open to the other’s viewpoint.